ricochet

inspired by Paul’s performance and my strange mood …

revision

i love what your hands do but
that gunshot haunts
like starlight
crashing bright ‘n’ dirth

and now the godly birdsong
hurts to hunt
every pain or joy i snared
wanting just to know

how it works
how it bleeds to fly

so like me crawling to the edge
hanging over
to watch starlight spike
loose bolts of earth ’n’ birth

beloved J’s version – way Lighter than mine turned out *heh

i love your hands
but gunshot haunts
like starlight crashing
bright ‘n’ dirth

and now the birdsong
hurts to hunt
every pain or joy i snare
just wanting to know

how it works,
how it perks,
how it bleeds to fly,

like me crawling to the edge
to watch starlight spike
loose bolts of earth
’n’ birth, hung over

original

i love what your hands do but
that gunshot haunts
like starlight
crashing bright ‘n’ dirth

and now the godly birdsong
hurts to hunt
every pain or joy i caught
and pulled the wings off

wanting just to know
how it works
how it bleeds to fly
so like me

crawling to the edge and
hanging over
to watch starlight fall
through spokes of birth ‘n’ earth

2 thoughts on “ricochet

  1. Paul Squires says:

    It is a joy to inspire such brilliant poetry Shell, so much more precise and careful than the original. Thankyou.

    • Shell says:

      i’m relieved you’re ok with this, Paul .. i zoned in on something that came out kinda sorta dark and you’re anything but dark … *gulp …

      i all but argued with the muse “you want to say what??” but decided to shut up and write

      your performance blew me away and that elusive merc … *smiles .. fantastic! lol

      thank you, as always, for your beautiful responses!

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