M1 : Sheffield

grind to a halt in the crawler’s lane.
on a bridge. decide.
the barrier’s too highly strung,
there’s no space to rev and fly sure

enough. car might burn and they’d
save your crush, debride
what’s left forever
(you’ll wish you’d jumped. forever)

get out. you’ll have to storm the void
full-breath, tip the axis quantified
by rush hour fear of survival.
you’re on the bridge. now decide.

8 thoughts on “M1 : Sheffield

  1. punatik says:

    P.S. years ago I used to play a very realistic driving game in an arcade in Waikiki. The seat and steering wheel would vibrate etc..I enjoyed cutting across the grass on the oval track and often if I slowed down and controlled the steering , I could come out on the track ahead of other cars that I was behind. But my favorite was the San Francisco course. The finish line was at the end of the Golden Gate bridge. Many times when I was ahead, I would just put the pedal down and fly off of the bridge. The young kids would always ask me why I chose to lose. I would tell them when else are you ever going to get a chance to drive off of the Golden Gate bridge ?
    Soon I saw a few of the kids doing it.
    “Quit while you’re ahead” one kid responded when I asked him why he was doing this. Ahh , I thought to myself…he gets it.
    Thanks for the memory Shell. Glad you are still here to share your moments with us.

    • Shell says:

      wow, Emilio – i know what you’re talking about and i’d have done the same with those arcade driving games lol

      in those weird extreme times back then i did kind of embark on a death by misadventure lifestyle .. i felt sure the cosmos would give me an early pass-out but it didn’t; in fact many psychic/spiritual experiences made it clear this wouldn’t be allowed no matter what i tried …

      my dreams in those days were lucid experiences … awesome … and souls appeared in my life to hoist me up, willing or not lol

      while i wouldn’t wish to ever face again the impossible choices and sacrifices that slapped my sanity into the abyss, i miss the intensity of connection with Cosmos, which might sound weird … but then every time i starmoon gaze it’s there .. that Vastness that we’re all precious to and in …

      but yeah, watching suicide bridges does sound a little strange … and not … almost like an invasion of privacy and pain? i dunno because i can see why you watch as well … so you’ll get no judgements from me about it, Emilio!

  2. punatik says:

    I loved this one(again). I prefer a method which I choose to call “Death by Misadventure.”
    I travel to a remote location, engage in extreme activities,(often fun, but sometimes not so..) and see if I expire while engaged. So far no luck, or perhaps too much. All in all the product has been stories. Lots and lots of stories.
    There are bridges in the usa that have cameras due to the frequency of jumpers. Sometimes I’ll watch them.I like to watch the whole decision making process. Everyone is different. Some just jump, while others think about it. I enjoy seeing the look on the faces of those who survive and are conscious . Call me twisted…you won’t be the first. Great post.

  3. noxalio says:

    oh, Shell … i don’t know
    what to make of this just yet …

    wanted you to know i’d seen it
    and that i was thinking of it …

    back, later, as i ‘ll have something
    semi-intelligent to say (right now
    i’m a tad dumb) …

    • Shell says:

      please don’t worry, noxy … i was there but it was a long time ago-go-gone … poetically it may be rubbish and don’t you dare be afraid to say so!

      • noxalio says:

        ok, phew, Shell … as long as
        it was in the past, i’m ok
        with it … gave me a start,
        you did!!!

        if the mood were to strike
        any time soon, please refrain
        (i ask selfishly) or else
        i’ll have no choice but to box
        your ears or some such foolish
        notion … ok? will you promise?
        go on, go ahead, promise me …
        go on, i said!! …

        oh, i’ll have to teach you coping
        skills (which i learned while
        i lived in LA – a long time
        ago – talk about a daily crawl –
        2-3 hours a day, trapped
        in a car with all sorts
        of thoughts buzzing around
        the brain … surprised i
        didn’t go batty then …
        or didn’t i? ha ha …)

        oh, back to the poem at hand …
        it’s wonderful!! really, it is …
        i’d change none of it …
        except maybe replace “car”
        with “it” ? … for obscurity?
        maybe, maybe not … otherwise
        it’s sublime – hard as it needs
        to be and not as it needs not
        to be … (if you know what
        i mean) … this is your voice,
        it’s enviable …

        on a completely unrelated track:
        there’s a poem i saw recently –
        it mentions a bridge near by
        where i used to live, again
        a long while back,
        i don’t know if i like it
        because i’m familiar with the
        geography or because of the
        iconography … but i do ..
        see what you think of it,
        here’s a link to it:
        http://armenian-poetry.blogspot.com/2010/03/armine-iknadossian-california-love-poem.html

        oh, my … i hope i haven’t
        out-stayed my welcome over here
        … if so, tell me to button up,
        and ship-out, will you? …

        • Shell says:

          i’m so sorry i scared you like that noxy – i tried to defuse it in the tags but of course, in this template they’re afterwards and who really reads them anyway?

          i’m so far from “there” now that you can relax, dear friend, but if i should slide towards the abyss i’ll ask that you box my ears so hard i’ll be deaf to oblivion, i promise i promise!

          it would be cool to know how you learned to cope ..

          that trapped feeling, yeah, some situations still send me hurtling towards insanity (the not-good type) even now … crowds, elevators (enclosure), no sky … *shudder* … in such moments the sense of cosmic separation/being lost is overwhelming; panic attacks are a definite energy drain but i’m pretty good at “turning” them these days …

          there’s a super-Natural world of weirdly wonderful stuff that Cosmos deploys to box my ears too, even now, though i suspect my angels must need a swig of something very strong when they realise it’s another Shell-alert lol

          i think i need the car there for S2 … maybe; i can see ways to change this having removed it but if the poem works (my main concern) then i’m probably going to leave it as is, if that’s ok?

          oh my, that poem you linked to is fantastic! i love it! felt every word and image like my pulse … awesome, thank you!

          you couldn’t possibly outstay your welcome here, dear Noxy – i don’t know which life i knew you in last but it’s very cool to touch wings again, yes?

          S

          • noxalio says:

            ok, “car” stays, i agree … and don’t
            destroy it, it’s perfect as is … really
            don’t listen to everything i say
            re: edits … i jump the gun
            most times.

            yes, “it’s very cool”
            and i’ll have a lot more to say
            re: past lives, spreading wings
            and tandem flight. nice
            metaphor(s) and on the spot
            also from my vantage.

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