next time, then

the cart rolled on bearing her and all
those voices mad with passion
bad for everybody else,
better that she burn and take it

that way
“just another witch in heat”
they said.

snowflakes dithered at the window
some tarried longer, spidering
the moving glass with crystal melt;

into these she projected everything
that would be gone soon,
dispersed in shockwaves generated
to disperse all scandal, neuter
the reality of one too many lovers
on the balance sheet.

5 thoughts on “next time, then

  1. Nicole says:

    i loved the word dithered.. and the part about “the reality of one too many lovers
    on the balance sheet.” Could you expand on that? I know it’s poetry.. but I feel exploring that topic would deepen your writing.. or simply your next poem.

    • Shell says:

      thanks for your feedback, Nicole …

      of course there are particulars that were like backdrop stories to this but i tend to slice and dice quite a lot .. sometimes too much lol … in this case, though, i wanted a bit of a time-blur going on for a generalisation to emerge …

      as a tool i agree with you and almost always write more and then reduce … i worry about slipping from show to tell

  2. punatik says:

    I would keep it as it is. It does fit well rhythmically, that’s why I can’t come up with a replacement. I just love it the way it is. I was just thinking on how our thoughts live on long after our bodies have expired. But you are right, she is free. I can’t wait for the next post…good job !

  3. Shell says:

    gone from her, i was thinking … and thereby free?

    but i absolutely agree with you it may be the wrong word/concept .. woke up this morn thinking “gone isn’t it” .. truly, i did! maybe i heard you questioning it …

    i kept it (for now) because it fitted rhythmically and sonically … but it may not be right ..

    any ideas for a replacement?

    thanks punatik! i really really enjoy your feedback!

  4. punatik says:

    I loved this one.By projecting everything…would it really be gone ?
    Great read !

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